While the national newspapers of India have been interviewing Lavanya Karthik for a few months, the leading newspapers of Gadbadnagar are now lining up to interview her as well. Her sensational investigations into Ninja Nani have created a storm in this small town. We present extracts from some of the interviews:
DC: We have a trusted source in Gadbadnagar who believes that the aliens are behind the goings-on in our town. Do you believe in aliens? Does the Mystery Hero?
LK: Of course we believe in aliens! The question is, do the aliens believe in us?
DC: You hint that Pongo has a dark secret. Why is Gadbadnagar hiding so many secrets?
LK: What makes you think Pongo has just one dark secret? And as for Gadbadnagar, there is a reason it’s not called, say, Boringpur or Humdrumabad. ‘Nuf said.
DC: Do you think the Mystery Hero is an alien?
LK: Do YOU think the Mystery Hero is an alien?
NG: Is the Mystery Hero consciously trying to buck spandex trend in the superhero fashion industry?
LK: The Mystery Hero believes in reuse and recycling. The Hero also hates shopping. And have you any idea how hot it gets in Gadbadnagar during summer? Spandex, indeed! Hmph!
NG: Follow-up question: Does the Mystery Hero have several pairs of the same hideous clothes or does he/she not do laundry?
LK: I could tell you but then I’d have to … HIYAAAAA!
NG:What does the Mystery Hero do to unwind after a tussle?
LK: The Mystery Hero actually unwinds during tussles with bad guys. Nothing like a hearty bout of fisticuffs, spittoon-hurling and teeth-throwing to refresh a gir … err… hero.
GG: Do you have an app by which you track the Mystery Hero?
LK: No, but I do take a lot of naps.
GG: Do you have drones with which you track the Mystery Hero?
LK: I find female bees make superior trackers. They are faster, smarter, less prone to fits of sulking, and take shorter lunch breaks.
GG: Have you embedded a chip in the Mystery Hero?
LK: I could tell you …
Actually, why don’t I just tell you?
DDT: Why is our correspondent Mr Chitnis found wherever the Mystery Hero is to be found? Is Mr Chitnis the Mystery Hero?
LK: I could tell you, but then I’d have to … RAAAARGH!
DDT: Are old people sufficiently respected in Gadbadnagar?
LK: Old people in Gadbadnagar are respected. They are also grossly underestimated, which is why they are forever sneaking out in the dead of night to have adventures, track aliens, catch bad guys and commit unpardonable crimes … on fashion.
DDT: Does the Old Age Home need more security cameras?
LK: Absolutely not. What they need is more residents like Mr Chitnis! And who knows, they might get some soon!