Archit Taneja: Geniuspredictor7x’s Survival Tactics for the Upcoming Alien Invasion

Archit Taneja is the author of the Superlative Supersleuths series. The second book in the series The Case of the Careless Aliens has recently been published.

The following is an entry by Geniuspredictor7x, a member of an online forum that discusses alien sightings. Rachita, one of the founding members of Superlative Supersleuths, hates the guts out of geniuspredictor7x since it reminds her of Vipul. She doesn’t like being reminded of Vipul because he gets better grades than her in maths. Aarti, the other founding member of the Supersleuths, has no strong feelings against geniuspredictor7x or Vipul.

Survival Tactics for the Upcoming Alien Invasion

by Geniuspredictor7x

Forum members, I’ve wrecked my head the last few days trying to make sense of it all. The sightings on the news channels, the strange behavioural patterns of my peers at school, the blatant denial by the governments.  It’s so obvious that I feel embarrassed stating it: Some of us on earth are under MIND CONTROL.

I have made several phone calls to the Indian Intelligence Bureau. Whenever I plead to them for some satellite access time to monitor high frequency radio channels, they cut my call. One officer actually threatened me. He said, “Stop calling here or we’ll tell your parents.” His words. I’m not lying. They’re either hiding something big from us, or maybe they’re under mind control too!

I think it’s only going to get worse from here. If we don’t act now, half the population on earth could be enslaved by the aliens in a few days. All they need to do is hijack our own TV satellites to propagate their mind control radio waves. They’ll start with using us as spies against one another.  Once they have enough of us under control, they’ll make us do their dirty jobs. Soon, we’ll be doing alien homework, washing alien dishes and taking their alien pets out for walks. If we don’t make up our minds soon, they’ll make up ours. (For those who didn’t get it, the above line was a three-way pun around applying cosmetics, coming with a decision, and being under mind control. It’s good to have a sense of humour when things look bleak.)

archit

My proposal is that each one of us wears protective head gear, something that prevents us from controlling our thoughts. One well-tested method is to design a hat made of aluminium foil. It does a good job at reflecting external radio waves, rendering the mind control signals useless. It can be found in kitchen closets at any home. You could also go through the garbage and retrieve the chocolate and candy wrappers you thought were useless. If you’re from India, you can get huge quantities of it from fruit baskets presents exchanged in weddings.

I have taken the burden of responsibility of educating my classmates. Almost the entire class is wearing foil hats now. I heard that some of our parents are considering bringing this up in the next PTA meetings. For some reason, they feel that their children having sweaty and smelly hair is a bigger problem than them being under mind control. I’m trying to design a ventilation system which would temporarily put a halt to the parents being a nuisance.

When I enter my classroom and see all my friends wearing their foil hats, it gives me some hope. They’re eager to learn more from me. I will not fail them. I hope every member here does the same.

Live long and prosper,

Geniuspredictor7x

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s